As I contemplated beginning a blog, I wondered what type of content I would have and how it would be different from the countless other infertility blogs. What makes my journey unique? I have learned so much through this process and yet would any of it be able to help someone else? How could I provide something a little different?
When I was 19 and planning my wedding, I had a lot of people advise me against getting married so young. Those warnings fell on deaf ears, but the heart in which they were given I held very dearly. We were not unaware of the statistics surrounding young people’s marriages, and we certainly were not going to stick our head in the sand and dismiss those stats. Instead, we made a conscious effort to find out what happens in those marriages and make sure we did not make the same mistakes. We wanted to put a hedge around our marriage, nurture it, protect it, and cause it to grow in spite of the odds. In order to do that, we needed to know what things negatively affected young people’s marriages and then take steps to counter those things.
As we began our journey with infertility, we learned that this crisis very often pulls marriages apart. As we had done our entire marriage, we set out to protect our marriage and beat the odds. What I did not expect, though, was this journey’s impact on my faith. After all, I had been taught, and constantly reminded by friends and family, that I just needed to have faith and we would be just fine. Just trust God and the rest was just details. While this may be true, it’s about as helpful as telling a young couple that love is all they need to hold their fragile marriage together. Nobody told me HOW this journey would test my faith. Where was my warning that my faith could actually cause me to be more angry with God than if I had no clue He was in control? No, I did not have the faintest idea the pitfalls that would befall me and cause me to seriously doubt my God, the God I had loved and successfully trusted my entire life.
It is for that reason, I began this blog. This is not a blog about having faith in fertility, the good Lord knows I have very little experience in that matter. This is not even a blog about enduring infertility IN faith. This is fertility AND faith, a blog about fertility and its impact on faith. I may not have all the answers, but I do know how my faith has been rocked to the core during our journey and that is what I want to share with others.